Organising Suggestions for Members of the Next General Synod
Since the elections for the next General Synod are rapidly closing in upon us, we offer a few ideas for special interest groups for the new members to throw their support behind to make this the most inclusive of all time.
The idea comes from the 5th Chapter of St Paul’s Letter to the Galatians. In that portion of scripture, the Apostle sets forth the behaviours that are and are not acceptable amongst the people of God. Seeing that his and other apostolic admonitions have been viewed as having passed their sell-by date—we offer the following in order to allow individuals to focus around their own predilections in order to advocate as pressure groups for their sin-du-jour.
Let’s see—sexual immorality, impurity, and sensuality have already been co-opted by the Pride groups within the church and whipped into a disciplined force to reckon with, so that can serve as a template. Check that off the list.
Next up, idolatry. Perhaps the moniker, Idolaters Out! might suffice? Enthusiasts could persuade members of GS to lend aid by explaining how creating your own deity truly makes you in charge of your own world view. The philosophical beauty of such could be explained by having never-ending discussion groups facilitated by those already convinced that “My Way” is far better than “Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah” as a musical theme for religious historical re-enactor gatherings. Tick that box!
Sorcery usually gets a bad reputation, but why? It could be that too many were influenced by watching the seasonal presentations of The Wizard of Oz and have bad memories of the Wicked Witch of the West and those flying monkeys or simply, a negative horoscope prediction. Nonetheless, Witches of the Church is a pressure group name just waiting to be deployed. Perhaps they could even find a non-copyrighted image of a witch astride a broom to serve as their logo? You bet! That’s done and dusted!
Jealousy—this one will need a lot of creativity because it is still such a taboo. A really dissembling name will have to be chosen for the pressure group to deflect the resistance, but what about “Green-Eyed Monsters For the Lord”? Sell their story by calling it “my truth” and explaining that jealousy is as natural as breathing.
What about the sin of drunkenness? Drunks need an advocacy group too, don’t they? Wouldn’t Drunks for Jesus strike a lugubriously harmonious chord? Soprano, alto, tenor, and bass (SATB) choral numbers presented by not too inebriated singers could be real crowd pleasers. And, there are not so many syllables in such a name as to prevent the members from being able to pronounce it after sojourns at the open bar. Tick that box too, it has real potential!
Finally, in order to remove even the slightest opportunity for offence and the greatest potential for a broad buy-in, a campaign called, Ditch the Ten should be organised to encourage the removal of all vestiges of the Ten Commandments from Churches. Of course, there would have to be mandatory training on how to successfully seek a faculty to make a change in church furnishings but such would not be insurmountable. That is a winner!
Of course, you realise we are being satirical. But sadly, most of us which follow trends in the Church would have to say it would not surprise us to find out if some such groups were in existence. After all, who would have thought thirty-years ago there would be a group called “Pride” enjoying the broad support of the Church hierarchy? Most would have said upon hearing the name, “Pride” that pride goes before a fall, as our ancestors before us had said for centuries in their paraphrase of Proverbs 16:18 or 29:23.
So, what advice do we really give to the erstwhile incoming members of the next General Synod?
“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness” and take “every thought and make it captive to the Word of God”.
You will not go wrong by doing so.